How to study Arabic: 7 Tips and Tricks

Disclaimer 1: These are just some of my own insights regarding how to study Arabic. These insights are catered to the Bayna Yadayk curriculum specifically. Obviously everyone studies differently and uses different techniques/strategies, so it's not meant to be taken literally. Having said that, I would appreciate hearing from all of you, regarding your own observations and/or recommendations that you came across while studying Al-Lughat Al-Arabiyyah.

Disclaimer 2: While you may notice that this is tailored to the Bayna Yadayk curriculum, please note that we are not at all trying to state that it is the best. Every curriculum has its pros and cons, and there are other great ones out there (Madinah books, Ibn Saud, Kitab Assassi, and even some customized ones). Moreover, this article was composed by a few brothers studying in Nasr City, Cairo at a Markaz (center). But obviously, there are other ways to study Arabic, be it privately, online, or even by yourself. And Allah knows best. Just ask Allah aza wa jal to help you in your journey. Remember, Arabic is means to reading the book of Allah and understanding it! Always try to purify your intention, for the sake of Allah. It's not an easy thing to do always. :)

_______________________

ARABIC: HOW TO STUDY IT AND 7 TIPS & TRICKS (BAYNA YADAYK):

1. A few people have recommended to me to watch the Madinah videos before studying Arabic. These videos tend to focus on the rules of Arabic (Qawa'id: Nahu, Sarf, etc.). The videos instructions are in English. I personally find it beneficial when JUST the rules are taught in English, because it's easier to understand the purpose and meaning behind these rules when they are taught in a way that makes sense to you. On the other hand, I believe it to be extremely beneficial when Arabic is taught in Arabic (everything except for rules), because it forces you to speak more. The Madinah videos are free and I've included the link at the bottom.

2. Before attending your lesson (whether it’s a group class or private session), study the Hiwaar (conversation) or article by yourself. This way, you can utilize class time for review, to converse, and essentially "drill" the words into your head by using them in their appropriate sentences. You'll also be able to ask specific questions about things you couldn't figure out by yourself. Try to ask questions which focus on what you need at this point and which are a priority as opposed to advanced topics (i.e. just like Islamic studies). We can all avoid interrupting the class by simply thinking about the question to ourselves before posing it (i.e. ask yourself: do I really need to know this right now?). I was told by a brother who graduated from Fajr, not to get hung up on a single word while the class is moving on, as that can slow you down while the class progresses. Going back to our topic, I had met a top student who almost spoke flawlessly mash'Allah in my level. He told me he reads the Bayna Yadayk Conversation/Article at least 8 times before going to class. Some people prefer to highlight, translate, and then write down the meaning beside every word they don't understand. Others avoid this. I'd personally like to hear from you guys what you think is better and why.

3. During the class, sit in the front of the room and in the center. Pay attention. Try not to write too much while the teacher is talking. Realize that this is the most effective time for understanding Arabic. It is essentially where the majority of your comprehension will come from, so take it seriously. Avoid speaking in English, unless your classmate is trying to explain the meaning of a word to you. The reason why you refrain from speaking English is to get to eventually "think" in Arabic and to practice speaking. After all, at the end of the day, you learn a language primarily by speaking it. Try to find a way in which you can have a conversation in Fusha with someone regularly. Regarding classroom etiquettes: We need to take this knowledge seriously, as insh’Allah we are studying it to please Allah, and we ask Allah to allow us to benefit the Ummah with it. Let’s remind ourselves about the basic Adaab and Akhlaaq within a class, and the respect to be shown for the Ustaaz (Etiquette of a Student of Knowledge). In reality, these "basics" are not easy to fulfill sometimes, and we should constantly re-visit them.

4. Take advantage of the MP3 CD that comes with the Bayna Yadayk books. Download it onto your phone or MP3 player. I found it effective to repeat what is being said after a few listens. It's also good because it lets you know how to properly pronounce certain words.

5. Consider taking a Qur'an or Tajweed class while studying Arabic. You can get 1-on1 lessons with Dar-Al-Fajr, which is a Markaz affilated with Markaz Fajr. It is a few buildings down from Pizza Hut on the 3rd or 4th floor. You can negotiate to a rate of 15 EGP per hour. 30 minutes to two hours per day should suffice. Or you can attend Markaz Masrawi, which is much cheaper. They charge 40 EGP per month, group session, twice a week. You can join their Hifz or Qu'ran reading class. You just need to get someone to correct you and to make sure you're reading and pronouncing properly. Many students, including myself, have trouble with the Ain, Dawd, Taaw, etc. One needs to articulate the Arabic language correctly (i.e. you don't want to sound like a F.O.B. when speaking Arabic, so learn to speak properly). Speaking via imitating is also beneficial to a degree. The earlier you learn to speak properly, the better, as you don't want to end up re-learning how to pronounce certain words. Allahu Alim. And Allah knows best.

6. After the Dars (group or private), I myself am not exactly sure what to do specifically, so I'd like some feedback from the brothers as to what they recommend. But essentially, what I was told was that, this is your time to review class notes, to do homework, and to prepare for the next lesson. Another important thing I was advised was: if you don't know how to use a word in a sentence (kalima fi joomla), then you really don't know the word. Make sure to practice using words in sentences. Write the word in a sentence and/or say it a few times. This is difficult in the beginning, and something I need to do more of myself, but nonetheless, it should become easier insh'Allah. In conclusion, Arabic is a language (and not just writing and reading). It is imperative that you try to speak as much as possible. In fact, listening to most senior students, their advice to me has been: never forget that a language is primarily listening and speaking - so do it as much as possible. And try to even review past lessons and vocabulary sets from time-to-time. You can also write summaries (in Arabic of course) of what you learned, and then try to have it corrected. Don't forget to keep reviewing past words, and read a lot!

7. Finally, and most importantly, purify your intentions. As one brother said, the goal is not to just "learn a language," but to "please Allah." Constantly ask yourself: why am I studying Arabic? Let's remind each other with regards to this from time-to-time. Furthermore, possessing a relationship with the Qur'an while studying Arabic – this is something that can't be stressed enough. We must all make sure that our Mushaf never gets left off to the side – that is dangerous. Please review the Arabic and Qu'ran recitation links below. Included are some of the latest video links extremely helpful in Tajweed. Having a relationship with the Qur'an is a must for every Muslim and essentially, our reflection, recitation, and understanding of Kitab'Allah, is the key to everything else. Also, acquaint yourself with some Du'as pertaining to knowledge.

I ask Allah to guide us, to guide our families, to bless us, and place all us in Jannat Al Firdous, making us the neighbour of Rasul'Allah sallalhu alayhi wasalaam. Ameen.

Your brother in Islaam,

ARABIC RESOURCES:

Al-Arabiyyatu Bayna Yadayk on YouTube*

Video Lessons by Ustaz Abdul Karim, Greenlane Masjid, UK

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_btQFskJVSQ

Bayyinah Institute, USA

PDF English/Arabic notes (Nahu, Sarf explained, etc.), Units 2-7:

http://bayyinah.com/courses/study-materials/#more-1096

Madinah Video Series By Dr. Abdur Rahim

Some Nahu, Sarf explained in English

http://www.kalamullah.com/learning-arabic.html

Arabic for All (Head Office in Saudi Arabia)

This is the publisher of Al-Arabiyyatu Bayna Yadayk

If I'm not mistaken, I believe they are currently revising their curicculim, with one that includes videos. If you email them, they make be able to send you mail you a free copy of the videos, so

long as you provide them with feedback. www.arabicforall.net

QUR'AN AND TAJWEED RESOURCES:

http://www.MuslimMedia.ca - The Qur'an section inshAllah has all the resources you need

IslamWay - Egyptian website with hundreds of recitations

People usually recommend Sheikh Hussary and Sh. Ibrahim Al-Akhdar for Tajweed.

http://english.islamway.com/sindex.php?section=erecitorslist

Learn 2 Read Quran - Basic and Advanced (Alphabet and Tajweed)

Website: http://www.l2rq.com

Videos: http://www.youtube.com/user/L2RQ/videos

Qur'an Verse by Verse

Superb site if you want to memorize the Qur’an or listen to the Aswaat (sounds) carefully. Each verse is separated in its own MP3. It's helpful because you set track to "repeat" mode. http://www.versebyversequran.com

And Allah knows best.

How to Learn Arabic in Egypt (Study Fusha, Tajweed, Hifz, Quran)

Asalamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatahu:

Bismillah ir Rahman ir Raheem

So you want to study Arabic overseas do you? I'm going to try and give you a realistic picture inshAllah, because there will be surprises. Allah accept this effort and reward you for your intentions.

I HIGHLY recommend also reading this blog post and resources:

http://mustaqeem.wordpress.com/2008/06/21/egypt/

http://studyarabicinegypt.com/

http://www.youtube.com/user/UsNEgypt

Pros of studying Arabic in Egypt:

-So far, I can only speak of Egypt, because I haven't been anywhere else.

-It's possibly cheaper than studying in the West

-Its intensive, classes range from 3-6 hours per day

-You won't be distracted by work or family

-You get to practice Arabic with fellow students

-Local Egyptian can understand you

-However, you won't understand them, because they speak Ammiyah (slang Arabic)

Cons:

-It's a huge adjustment from the West

-I came from Canada. Americans and Canadians will have to adjust from their cozy life

-Egyptian speak slang Arabic, so its hard to practice with the locals.

-Egypt does suffer from poverty

-You need to renew your intention regularly (which is actually a good thing)

-If you have a huge personality issue (i.e. are very impatient), then Egypt is not for you

-And Allah knows best

Summary:

Okay. I've been studying in Egypt for almost 2 months now. In a way, my heart has become attached to Egypt. I love praying in the Musallah's and Masjids regularly. I love how I can say "Asalamu Alaykum" to anyone and they respond in an even better manner with "Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatahu." I love anybody with a beard here, they are super kind and possess super humble character. However, I hate the piles of garbage which can be seen on every block and stray dogs. I dislike the amount of poverty, Allah have mercy on these people. I dislike the organization and clusters of people. But at the end of the day, I realize that what I have is a blessing from Allah. I've always wanted to learn Arabic, being born and raised in Canada, coming from an Indo-Pakistani background, I felt that the Western Islamic education I was receiving just wasn't structured. It was also my fault because I wasn't disciplined. So I ask Allah to help me on this journey. Ameen.

So where do you start?

First of all make the intention. Do sincere dua to Allah. Next, do your research, talk to Imams, friends who have studied in Arabic. It's no joke. You will be tested. But do not worry, you'll get thru it. Remember you being tested, is a sign that Allah loves you. So what's a test? Well you might get sick here for a few days. You might get ripped off by taxi cab drivers a few times. You might get frustrated with the lack of organization. Your expectation of Egypt might be turned upside down. But you know what? Your goal is to better understand the speech of Allah, and the Sunnah of RasulAllah salalahu alayhi wasalam. What else do you have to lose man? Allah put you to it, and so Allah will get you through it. :) - By the 2nd week you're in Egypt you'll have forgotten all your worries. You'll have a smile on your face and you'll be better adjusted.

Where will I live? How much does an Apartment in Egypt cost?

That depends on you and how cozy you want to live. Through my research and through what I've seen, it's fairly difficult to find a "Western" style apartment. You get a small kitchen with gas stove, 1 living room, and usually most apartment are 2 or 3 bedrooms. It's hard to find a 1 bedroom (studio), though I know they exist. You need to contact a Simsaar. But you know what, finding an apartment in Cairo is a headache. So it's best to ask the institute you're studying with, or if you have a friend here, ask them. Or find a Simsaar (real estate agent/apartment broker) that speaks English. Regardless, I highly recommend getting a apartment near the institute you study. I also highly recommend if you can, to get one no more than 5 or 10 minutes walking distance. Personally the further away I am, the less motivated I am to go to class.

You never told me how much an apartment costs!

Oh yeah sorry, um, I mean, "Yani," um, apartment will range from 1000 EGP to 3000 EGP (Egyptian pounds, the rate is approximately 6 EGP=1 U.S. dollar). I have two roommates and we're each paying 1,000. However, I've seen apartment nicer than mine in the same location, and the brother are paying 2,500. So yeah...

Okay, what's the total cost, tuition, food, apartment, and all that?

I don't want anybody to come here and be short on cash, so I will provide you with an over-estimate. If you can work for a year or two in the West and save some money and then come over here, that's a good idea. But essentially, if you're just by yourself, I believe, you shouldn't spend more than $500 (for everything) per month that is. Again though, I don't know HOW cozy each of you live so it depends from person to person. Here's a break down:

-2000-2500 EGP for an apartment/month - if you have a roommate, it makes things MUCH easier.

-I personally pay about $283 for mine, and my place is decent Alhamdulillah, which I share with 2 other brothers

-Food, about 1000 EGP per month. Maybe $5 U.S. per day, but again, depends on how much you cook, can you eat the street food, do you like to eat out a lot, etc.

-Tuition: This varies from place to place. Some institutions charge you $80 U.S. per level (1 level is about 60 to 75 hours and takes 5 weeks to complete). Others will charge you $115 U.S. Keep in mind these are group rates. If you want semi-private or 1-on-1, you'll pay more. You can find private teachers for about 20 EGP per hour. And intensive (5.5 hours per day) courses (i.e. completing a level in 2.5 weeks), are more expensive, sometimes double the price almost per level, so $200 U.S. per level! That's expensive. But group rates are pretty cheap and you can bargain with them if you tell them your budget. I can't tell if you should do intensive or group, you have to decide that.

-Taking a cab to City Stars (Spinny's is a grocery store in this mega mall and its similar to Kroger, Meyers, or Superstore), will cost you about 2 U.S. dollars.

-Again, I believe, I could be wrong, but I think a person should come here with at least $10,000 U.S. dollars. If you stay for about 8 months (complete 5-6 levels of Arabic, in total there are 12 or 14), then you could spend in that 8 months about $6,000. But if you live cheaply and smartly (is "smartly" a word, heh, heh), then you'll spend less. Allahu Alim.

Which institute do I choose?

Okay this is important. This is my advice, you don't have to take it. Come to Egypt first then choose an institute. Try to come before September or before mid-September, as I hear that's when all the semester start. But really if you join a BIG institute (the bigger ones usually have a a website and over 100 students), then you can join any time, because every month they have Arabic starting from level zero. Again my advice is that you come to Egypt first. Stay in a hotel called "International Scouts Cairo" or something (located at 2 Yusuf Abbas, Madinat Nasr). They charge $175 EGP per night (around $35 U.S. dollars I think). There's also a cheaper hotel right across from them. And for 1 week, you can do your research on your lap top, and take a taxi to every institute. See which one suites you. I am currently studying at Markaz Fajr, but you may not like that one. If you want a cozier place, than you may want to look at Al-Diwan. And if you want super cheap, you may want to go to Alexandria and study with Qortoba. But again, I am warning you, and MY SUPER advice is this: Don't give any institute a down payment. First come here then choose one. Go to Alexandria by train if you have to (Ramses train, first class) to see Qortoba's campus. Many institutes are the size of a small house with 3-6 rooms that fit 9 to 12 students. There are even institutes that don't have a website. Go to Kalimah institute (near Markaz Fajr), go to Sibaway, Aleem, Daad Centre, Markaz Safeer, etc. You may be the type of person that can live in the jungle. Or you may be a like me, you need a little bit of coziness, but not too much coziness. Remember these institutes are a business. Some of them will reduce their price if you tell them your budget. For Quran, Tajweed, Qiraat, Hifz, Tilawat, there are tons of institures. Markaz Masarawi and Dar-Al-Fajr located on Mustafa Nahhas are two that are nearby me. One of my teachers, a 25-year old named Ustaz Amr was blind, but was amazing in his voice mashAllah. You can pay 10 to 15 EGP/hour for 1-on-1 or pay 40 EGP per month for a group (twice per week). |Though many people are charging 20 EGP as the standard for 1-on-1, Arabic or Quran. Yes, you can find free teachers too, but it's a bit difficult, and I haven't been here long enough to know, Allahu Alim.

How do I get around in Egypt?

Take the white taxis initially. They have meters. And say Asalamu Alaykum to all cab drivers. Let them know your Muslim, but also imply that you're not a stupid foreigner who will give them 100 EGP tip. You can take the black taxis, but that is riskier. There is also micro-bus and regular bus. You can take those after awhile when you're more comfortable. Crossing the street is tough initially but Alhamdulillah, I'm use to it. Have you ever been to Pakistan or India or Bangladesh? Well being from Pakistan, I went to visit my family in 2004/2005. I can tell you Pakistan is NO different than Egypt. It's the exact same, even the people look the same (you find all the colors in the world in Pakistan). The only difference is that they have Cricket in Pakistan, and Football in Egypt, and the language of course.

How does the Visa issue work? Will I be interrogated at the airport?

-Okay. You come to Egypt and as soon as you step into the Airport, you'll see a row of tellers. Go to one of them, and they charge you about $14 U.S. dollars for a 5 week tourist visa. It's easy for Westerners with a Western passport (Canadian, American, British, etc.) to enter Egypt, but harder others. After that, you can ask your institution to give you a student Visa, or you can go to the Mugama (government building in Tahrir Square) and renew your visa ever 3 months. They might give you for longer (6 month visa), Allahu Alim. But make sure you go with someone your first time, because it's a headache and can take half a day.

How are things after the Egyptian revolution (January 2011)?

I am writing this as of November 19, 2011, after the revolution, but before elections, so I really can't say. And I was never in Egypt before the revolution, but speaking with locals, they do tell me that there was a bit more security and more tourists. All in all, not too much difference. If you're Muslim, and you look like a Muslim (brown skin, black skin, white skin with a kufi), you'll be fine. The locals are friendly with Muslims. Well they are friendly with non-Muslims as well, but in my opinion, they may try to rip you off even more. Don't expect to find the Deen in Egypt. But what you will see and feel is brotherhood, kindness, you'll hear the Quran in stores instead of Muslim, you'll hear the Athan 5 times a day, you'll pray Fajr in the Masjid, you can get someone to teach you Tajweed, it's great.

Which curriculum?

I chose Al Arabiyyah Bayna Yadayk (Arabic between your hands). I've also used a bit of Kitab Assasi. It's easy and picture friendly. It's a lengthy discussion, but essentially, M.S.A. (Modern Standard Arabic) and Fusha (classical Arabic) are now referred to as the same thing. Some curriculum's are more Islamic orientated I hear, like Muhammad Ibn Saud, and the Madina Books. You could study these later after you pick up the speaking skill. I will tell you what I was told: Make learning Arabic fun. If the first thing you learn is Nahu, Sarf, Qawa'id, Balagha, etc. - it might demotivate you. That's why the Bayna Yadayk curriculum is designed to get you comfortable with speaking, reading, having a conversation about your daily life and daily routine (i.e. Your name, Your status, Where do you pray, etc.). But I can't speak on the other curriculums, because I haven't gone through it. But I know that I really enjoy learning and going to class. Try to have someone who speaks your native tongue in your class who you can talk to in case you don't understand something. At the end of the day, once you have a good teacher you are set. If you don't like your Ustaz, you can always ask your institute to change him/her. By the way classes are segregated for those wondering Alhamdulillah.

How long will it take me to learn Arabic? And what do I do after Arabic?

I don't know but man, it's a blessing. Now you can study Islamic topics, go to Azhar, Islamic University in Islamabad, Madinah, I really don't know though, but go to YouTube and watch some Arabic lectures. Now don't you want to understand what they're saying? Don't you want to read Hadiths in Arabic from Imam Nawawi's heart-softening books? Don't you want to better understand the Qur'an and travel throughout the Arabic world on a journey of knowledge? Allahu Alim, but I was told you can develop a foundation of Arabic in 1 year. And I will assume to perfect if after that, perhaps 1-2 years, but you may be able to do that part time while you work on other Islamic topics. You can also work on your Tajweed and/or Quran memorization.

Where do I live?

As for Cairo, Egyot, Madinat Nasr is the place to be. Though there are institutes in other areas of Cairo such as in Maadi, 6th of October City, Giza, etc. You need to come here and choose, but make sure to live walking distance from your institute.

What do I eat?

Western chain restaurants costs you about 15 EGP per meal. Street food and/or mediocre food (i.e. Shabrawi's

Where do I buy stuff from?

There are tiny grocery stores all over the place, and also a larger chain called Ragab and Sons. Also, there is a place called Tawheed Al-Noor, this the "Walmart" of Egypt. It's not as big, but you can get thobes, kitchenware, housewares, furniture, slippers, etc.

Can I bring my family?

There are a few American, British and French brothers here with the families. And they even have their kids in school here. But that's all I will say, because I just don't want to give the wrong information. Of course your wife can learn Arabic here too, that is not a problem at all .

How many students are there?

-In my class 9. In my institution, maybe a few hundred. But we all obviously study at different times in the day. I highly recommend staying up after Fajr and studying.

Tell me more about Madinat Nasr in Cairo:

-Wow. I've never met so many Muslims from around the world. Russian Muslims, Chinese Muslims, Malaysian Muslims, European Muslims, Muslims from American, France, Canada, etc. The most visible minorities in Egypt are probably Sudanese and Somalis, lots of them, they are great, friendly, helpful, and humble people.

-There are 3 phone providers: Etisilat, Vodaphone, and Mobinil. I don't know which is the best, ask people, they are all decent though. You will spend about 50 EGP per month (10 U.S. dollars for credits) and can get a cheap phone for about 30 U.S. dollars. I have this cheap LG phone with FM radio (P.S. there's a Quran radio station here, awesome huh!?).

-Internet: You can share with neighbors (cheap) or spend 150 to 200 EGP per month for an internet USB stick.

-Make sure you bring dental floss man and buy a miswaak. Seriously, dental hygiene is important akhee. I don't know why but I find myself having to floss quite a bit when I'm over here.

Resources:

-Type in Bayna Yadayk in YouTube. This is probably the most popular curriculum. Just watch the first video at least.

-Nouman Ali Khan, Arabic, and his motivational videos on YouTube

-Kamalullah, their Arabic section

-MuslimMedia.ca - My website, click on Quran

-A Student of Knowledge Guide to Egypt by Dhikrullah.com

It's been 4 years

Asalamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatahu

All praise belongs to Allah subhana wa t'ala. I ask Allah to send blessings and peace upon his last and final messenger, RasulAllah, salalahu alayhi wasalam.

Allah guide you, bless you, bless your family, bless your dawah efforts, and grant you and your family Jannat al Firdous, making you the neighbor of RasulAllah salalahu alayhi wasalam.

It's been 4 years since I started this blog. Since then, I've:

-Completed my business degree, Alhamdulillah

-Volunteered in the Muslim Students Association as Public Relations Representative

-Volunteered with various dawah organizations

-Increased my level of Islamic knowledge

-Worked as an Analyst in Capital Markets Regulation for 3 years

-Started a few projects and websites. One is a dawah/naseeha project directed towards Muslims (http://www.MuslimMedia.ca) and the other is for non-Muslims (http://www.ponderdeath.wordpress.com)

-And Alhamdulilah, I'm now in Cairo studying Arabic

More updates to come soon...and most importantly, more ideas, reflections, and posts on how to "cure the Muslim Ummah." I obviously don't believe it's going to be done via this blog or that there's one formula. In fact, I don't even assume that I can look at the entire Ummah's problems. But better that I reflect and keep my mind going than just sit down and do nothing.

Your brother in Islaam,

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Curing, Reviving, and Empowering the Muslim Ummah

This may be the most serious issue we need to address
April 08, 2007
Author: Anonymous

Note: This message was purposely made short, considering it may be less likely to have been read if lengthy. Long-term goals would include marketing this leaflet in video and email form in numerous languages. This leaflet is written by a man, imperfect, unlike the Holy Koran. It focuses on issues which I see are relevant to the Muslim world, and therefore may be biased. It should be revised from time-to-time with best intent. We ask Allah (SWT) to help us, guide us all.


Bism'Illah-ir-Rahman-ir-Raheem...
Assalamu-Alaikum (Peace Be Unto You)

This leaflet’s objective is to:

-Prompt Muslims to gravely contemplate their fate and what’s happening around them
-Unite a large number of Muslims towards one direction, putting aside our differences
-Encourage Muslims to spread proper knowledge of Islam within our communities and to non-Muslims, promoting world peace and prosperity, essentially restoring an influence of Islam in today’s world, God-Willing


ISSUES TO ADDRESS:

The Psychology of Muslims:

We must acknowledge and make aware to Muslims that we have a problem in order to seek a cure. This problem may worsen if we take no action. We are Muslims (Sunni), similar, yet we fight each other only weakening ourselves. Our purpose in life is to Worship our Creator. Let us reflect, on what is happening in the world and put aside seeking pleasures. Worship should entail a spiritual aspect as well as a socializing aspect. It includes, but it not limited to, understanding the Koran, and acting to have an impact on local and global communities. We must fear our Creator, remember the hereafter, and pray to Allah (SWT) protect and help us in this uphill battle.

We must be people of value; if we make no effort to act, a great tragedy may be inflicted upon us.

“O you who have believed, obey Allah and obey the Messenger and let not your works end in futility” (47:33)


Criticism:

It is not uncommon amongst Muslims to find the habit of criticising others. If we are not criticising Israel and America, we are criticising others in our community, yet we do not lift a finger. We blame the politicians or Imams, yet we do not lift a finger. The system can only be changed from the inside.


Balance:

Extremism is defined as something that is abnormal. We will define two types of Muslim extremists. One is secular, which is the type that wants the influence of Islam completely separate from the state and people. The other is a radical, prudent, perhaps to serve a political agenda or interpret Islam as s/he will. Both are ignorant and arrogant. Both are dangerous. But, both must empathise with the majority for righteousness and realize their tactics are ineffective. Never should Muslims force their views on others, such as the Turks for banning the head scarf in government buildings or radicals by violent acts.


Education:

Education is a universal key, without it are locked doors. Seeking education should never end after we complete a certificate from an institution. The process of learning should be an essential motivation amongst Muslims. We must excel in a diversity of fields such as Law, Commerce, History, and Political Science. We should never limit ourselves to certain fields. This is a great danger in that, because Muslims will then lack knowledge in areas which may in excel us. We must not be ignorant or arrogant.


Communication:

Wars sometimes occur because of misunderstandings or miscommunication. We must be proficient in our language(s), specifically public speaking and writing. Writing will enable us to publicly communicate our message to newspapers, journals, and will enable Muslims to gain recognition. Public speaking will accelerate us, and is essential to get the proper message of Islam in the media. We must be able to speak efficiently and enunciate clearly. If we lack communication skills, nobody will hear or listen to us. These skills are so important that I cannot even begin to stress. Muslims take their current speaking and writing skills for take granted, yet it is not enough. Perhaps even more important than speaking is listening. Only with listening will we be able to understand one another, and learn. Three rules to establish good communication are to listen, speak the truth at all times, and never assume. Making an assumption based on rumours instead of facts is like waging a war for no reason. If you have to assume, assume the best amongst your own. Muslims tend to be imbalanced. They are often too sceptical of one another, and hardly give each other the benefit of the doubt. This pamphlet is a type of communication, and may be perceived as negative if not interpreted correctly. I assure you, I have only the best intention. Understand that almost everything is subject to interpretation, even the way we see the world, which may not be correct. Our communication must be as clear as possible, only then will begin to truly understand.


Cause and Effect:

Are suicide bombings effective or productive? Can our energy be directed in other means? How many Muslims suffer as a result of our own attacks? Is there a gain or loss? One theory suggests that Muslims face an escalation of commitment. An escalation of commitment is the tendency to continue on a path which is posing a losing proposition, which may be influenced by effort already invested. We must stop making foolish decisions which result in only losses. Are we being efficient and productive? Do not be arrogant, we must constantly be critical of ourselves and ask ourselves questions. Who, what, where, why, when and how? A simple question may salvage us from a heavy mistake. We cannot afford to make more.


Ethics and Morals:

Three merchants provide their customers with a fair price for three different reasons: The first, because it’s better for business, the second, because it makes himself feel better, and the third, because he believes he has to follow a moral law. The third man is the best because his premise for doing an action is: following a moral law. While the others follow different premises by which then there is no excuse to practice evil deeds based on those premise(s). The third man is less likely to go astray because he always confirms with a moral law. In our case, our moral law is Islam. Help the less fortunate. Study Islam. Islam may be represented by the Koran and Hadiths, but bear in mind, our actions represent Islam as well. Even smiling and holding the door open for somebody is charity. We must take responsibility for our ethics, morals, and actions, for we will be questioned on the day of judgement.


The solution:

Conquer a problem from all sides. Remember to put all your options on the table before choosing the best. Think outside the box, and don’t be afraid to seek other methods. We must not criticize each other out of ego, but must constructively criticise each other for the better. Let us hold meetings, and not be afraid to address political issues, this is our duty. Some say the solution is to focus on your family and yourself first, others say to be proactive in society. While both argue their opinion, they are only bickering for no good. Truthfully, they are both right, and who is to say that taking care of you family and being proactive in society cannot be done at the same time? We do not Worship our Creator only by sitting in mosques, but we Worship also by being active outside the mosque. A problem in the Muslim community is that we tend to only consider options A or B, but never consider options A and B. There will always be differences amongst us, but we must put them aside, and aim for one and even many goals. 10 Muslims attacking a problem with 10 different methods is more efficient than 10 Muslims attacking one problem with 1 method, out of ignorance and arrogance.

'Whoever of you sees something wrong should change it with his hand; if he cannot, then with his tongue; if he cannot, then with his heart, and that is the weakest form of belief.'" [Muslim]

Even though this isn’t a specific solution to the problems Muslims face today, Inshalla it will provoke the thought of many. Remember we must be tolerant, and patient. There is not one universal equation to solve all our problems. The only thing perfect is the Koran. We are not, and we must be careful of our actions, how they are perceived, their intent, and impact. We must have faith, be balanced, and target this problem from all angles. If not, I fear a horrific infliction upon us.

Dawat / Dawaat Uncles - (funny, humour, humor, jokes)

Daavit Uncles: A Quantitative Analysis
By (The Coconut Fob)
Calgary, AB
February 15, 2007


Introduction:

I’m probably one of the only guys I know my age who actually enjoys going to a thing called “Daavits” (gathering amongst elderly men and women known as Unties and Uncles). Come on, the food is mouth watering and not to mention free. But, somewhere you have to make a sacrifice, which in this case is, sitting in a room with a bunch of Men in their 40’s-60’s, called Uncles. They may be equivalent to an intimidating street gang of 5-10, and their sons don’t bother coming. I guess tonight was counter-strike night. Even if you’re not East-Indian, you know what I’m talking about. It’s scary, because sitting with a bunch of Uncles means listening to theories on 9-11, infinite complaints that are answered with more complaints, and proofs to why President Bush is actually a robot designed in 19th century East Africa. But it isn’t all that bad, you can learn a lot from them, like you can from Grandpa. And be prepared to laugh at some corny jokes, you’ll eventually get them.

For the newbies, I’ve decided to outline the various types of Uncles, so that you won’t be intimidated. Cause let me tell you, if an Uncle asks you “so what are you studying Baita (son)? Your answer better involve two PhD’s or a law degree; and you’d better be completing all that in 3 years or less…

_______________________________________


The "Curious George" Uncle:

Be prepared to indulge in the interview of your life. Uncle wants to know everything. A wrong answer from you will result in a slow and painful execution involving you in a shipped suitcase to Antarctica, and ending with penguins nibbling at your remains. He’ll be soft spoken initially, but once you begin answering, it’ll feel similar to an interrogation for affiliating with the KGB, or in our case, Al-Qaeda in Guantanamo. Example:

“So how are you Baita? How is you’re parhay (studies) going?”
“Oh great, actually I just finished an internship with this accounting--”
(Cuts you off)
“Shabash, good, good, and your current GPA is?”
“Ugh…huh? Oh, well, it’s ugh approximately two point—“
At this point, run for it, because you’ve just committed suicide. Any GPA below a 5.9 is unacceptable. Perhaps you thought the maximum GPA you can have is 4.0? Not according to Uncle Jee. See if you can have the grading system at school changed, so that it’s compatible with Uncle’s standards. After doing so, send your transcript to the Uncle as proof from an undisclosed location via fax or satellite phone, your life depends on it. .
Also, try not discussing anything other than your career and school, because that’s all you’re worth. Other talk may result in more torturous execution methods, such as being strapped to a hospital bed to watch an entire season of “Friends.” Joey, Chandler, and Ross wish you all the best.


The “Wishes He Was Younger” Uncle:

This uncle seems to be suffering from a midlife crisis. He just doesn’t want to accept the fact that he’s getting balder. He tries to do that “Will Smith-Jazzy Jeff” thing he saw on Fresh Prince when you go to shake his hand.

What? Did he just ask if I got the new 2pac CD?
“Baita, where can I get tickets to a Biggie concert (*cough, cough*)? For my son?”
“Ugh, Uncle, Biggie’s been dead since 1997.”
The expression on his face looks like he lost a relative.
“Inna lillahi wa inna…”

Typically Uncles come dressed in throbe’s, dress pants, or shalwar. Not this uncle.
“Uncle, is that your son Faheem’s shirt you’re wearing?”
Does he even know what the number 69 means…?
“You know I was number 69 back in engineering college…best bowler, three years in a row (cricket)…”
I’m thinking, wow, they have bowling in Pakistan? Should I ask Uncle if he wants to go knock some pins down this weekend?




The “Corny / Assimilating-Into-Western-Society” Uncle:

It takes me a minute or so to comprehend his humor. It isn’t easy to translate a joke from Punjabi/Arabic to English, but Uncle makes the attempt.
“Did you hear about the Mouse at the Lion’s wedding?”
“Ugh No.
“Acha (okay), once a mouse, I mean Lion yaar, ka shadi, wedding, and……AHAHHAAHAA”
Uncle never does finish, he just gives in with a high-pitched laugh before the punch line.
Oh no, what’s he saying now? How come he keeps mixing English with Arabic/Urdu? Can’t you just stick to one language? I don’t think that’s a sentence.
“So I took car going fast, guy tries to cutting me off in doosra lane, pir, I’m thinking, is he crazy guy? Wo kitay jaray?...bloody idiots…”
Umm, Uncle, your pants are inside out.


The “Conspiracy Theory / Argues-For-No-Reason” Uncle

Nothing is possibly good, not even Obama Barack. It’s all part of the Zionist’s scheme. Yeah I’m impressed by his knowledge, even though he might screw up once in awhile, and deny it. Why didn’t this guy become a University professor? I see, so you think the U.S. went into Iraq because the Evangelical Christians want security in the Middle East for the second coming of Christ? Right, but how’s that connected with your previous theory that Iraqi Oil will be used to create a new virtual Disney land in Michigan?
For the next hour, I listen to theories on how Micky Mouse is actually a living person; a free-mason who secretly controls the world. This uncle never graduated from MIT engineering, he actually just watched CNN 13 hours a day for four years.

This uncle also has a habit of bringing up arguments, for discussion’s sake.
“How do you know there was no Mossad influence in the Iraqi civil war? How do you know there were no weapons of mass destruction?”
“Ugh yeah I hid them in my pants.”
Whoops, did I just say that out loud? I leave through the back door pretending to grab some Chai.






“The Uncle from an Unknown Village:”

How the hell did the embassy let this guy in here? He must have a fake degree or something. And please Uncle, stop scratching yourself, and or/picking your nose. That’s disgusting. I can’t even finish this Golaab Jaamin now. Did you just pass some gas? Nasty…

I don’t think he had his wudu when we did Maghrib in Jamaat.

This Uncle also has a habit of cursing in his native tongue. You’d be surprised to find out how many bad words I learn in Punjabi at these things…


“The Uncle that doesn’t like other Uncles from different backgrounds:”

Uncle 1: “You know those Karachi’s can’t be trusted, that’s why the capital shifted to Islamabad...”
Uncle 2: “Isn’t you wife from Karachi?”
Uncle 1: “Yeah, but we’re raising the kids Punjabi.”

Lines may be crossed even further…

Uncle 1: “We need to get rid of all these Punjabi’s, they’re multiplying like mice. They’re worse than Shia’s and Zionist Jews. Let me tell you, if there’s a snake and a Punjabi in the house, I already know which one to get rid of first...”
Uncle 2: “Ugh, I am Punjabi, Shia, and my wife’s a convert from Judaism.”
Uncle 1: Has the same kind of expression on his face when I wet my pants in kindergarten, and thought I could get away with it.



The “little too quiet” Uncle:

Why was this guy even invited? He must have really good Talawat.
Is he looking at me funny? Maybe he’s wondering where I got the Roc-a-fella shirt from? Wait a minute…Uncles don’t like Hip Hop. Did I forget to shake his hand or something? I think I could take him…
(10 minutes later)
He’s not even listening to the discussions. He’s been totally still for 20 minutes. Is he dead? No wait, I think I saw a nostril flinch.


The “Way-Too-Modern” Uncle:

This Uncle argues that he doesn’t need to pray five times a day, once is good enough; plus it helps with his arthritis. Is he trying to start his own sect? He wants to follow Islam, but finds it difficult with so many “stupid” Muslims these days. Huh? Yeah apparently you can’t follow Islam when the majority is corrupt. Uncle’s daughter is also engaged to some alcoholic punk rocker and his son was on Judge Judy, and was suing a fat lady for taking a bite out of his arm.

Uncle also has a habit of cursing like the “Village Uncle,” except he curses in English! Quiet! The Unties can hear you. Somebody put a bar of soap in this guy’s mouth…

He complains about how the Khutba’s are irrelevant.
“So then why don’t you give a Khutba next week Uncle? I’m sure you could do better…”
Oh crap, did I just say something out loud again?
“Uh sorry Uncle I have to leave, I have an accounting final tomorrow...”
Uncle sure as hell knows my semester finished 3 weeks ago…


“The Extremist Uncle:”

You gotta be a “Hanafi” to roll in this guy’s hood (or some school of thought).

“Baita is that purple in you shirt? Haram.”
“Oh no Uncle that’s Burgendy.”
“Burgend--? Burgers? Burgers are not Zabiha baita.”
“Nevermind.”


“The Enemy Uncle:”

This Uncle has beef with another Uncle for reasons nobody ever explained to me. I figure this one out when I tell Uncle One I’m going to school with Uncle Two’s son. Uncle one sneers instantly. Did I say something to offend him?

Nobody told me Uncle Two’s son was caught “macking” on Uncle One’s daughter at the last ISNA conference.





The “Egotistical / Doctor’s only" Uncle.

My brother-in-law told me about this one. If you aren’t a doctor, get the hell out of this uncle’s way.
“How could you not know what Dermatographism is? Are you a bloody idiot? Did your mama fall out of a riksha while giving birth to you? You bloody idiot!”

Uncle, I know you have a PhD, but please stop calling me a dumbbell.
Note to self: don’t ever ask a question at a Daavit. Questions are for stupid people. If you haven’t noticed this Uncle is sort of a “big-shot.” You damn right he gets all the backstage passes to the Jay-Z shows. Uncle I think it’s great you have a Mercedes, but don’t you think its 1972 engine and shot gun muffler are a bit outdated? Watch out for these and other types of Uncles, who do most of the talking at these Daavit things, they can lead to suicidal boredom. Also, if you ever get an “military-commander” type Uncle who wants you to also fight in the Kargil war like he did, take him up on his offer. Get shot and sent to heaven may be better for everbody. Just playin'. Salaams.

_______________________________________


Like Jerry Springer’s final thought, we can all learn something from this, regardless if we’re uncles or not. Identifying a problem should always be followed by producing solutions, not by producing more problems/ineffective opinions. The point is that we will always have differences, but that doesn’t mean we can’t work towards the same goal.

Hey, and if you think the ladies side doesn’t involve meaningless conversations, think again. I heard the Unties are just as bad. But instead of politics and religion, main topics are children’s accomplishments and who Sara and her friends were seen with last Friday

Moral of the story, even though our elders do stuff that appears funny to us, respect them, like Ali G would. Because we’ll all get to that age one day, and who knows how the kids will make fun of us. “Baba jee, you used to go on Maniac Muslim? Ahahahahahaha!” Of course they wouldn’t, I’m sure ManiacMuslim.com will still be cool by 2047, Inshalla. Salaams.

This post has been edited by coconut_fob: Apr 9 2007, 11:20 PM